Just because

At the end of my high school life, I realise that some things never change.

I remember at the beginning of year 9, as I walked up the three storey D-block floors for the first time, dying of exhaustion:

• “By the end of year 13 I’ll be SOO fit because I’d walk up these stairs everyday”

WRONG.

Today I walked up, and was puffed out by the time I got there all the same. I’ve taken English for 5 years.

This hasn’t changed.

At the beginning of year 9, I also said this:

• “Wooow imagine what it would feel to be a year TWELVE. Like, that’s SOOOO OLD. I’D BE SEVENTEEN! OMG THAT IS SOO OLD”

This has changed.

After the first term of year 9 was over, I said,

• Only 19 more terms of school to go!

And now…

NO MORE TERMS OF SCHOOL LEFT TO GO.

Looking back, I am so thankful for my experience at EGGS. I don’t wanna get too emotional right now, but maybe there will be a blog in the future about this nostalgia that we typically feel at the closure of the school year.

Except this is the school life.

ALL GOOD.

Most days of the year are unremarkable. I’ve had some pretty remarkable days lately 🙂

A chain of events

We are all part of one body.

Everything we do is linked to the other things that follow it.

I think that my whole view of many things in my life has been changed by the movie, 500 Days of Summer, that I just finished watching half an hour ago.

I believed in fate. I believed that there was a “meant to be”. I thought that, if anything was going to happen, if it was meant to happen, it will.

Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life.

“You can’t ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that’s all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence… there are no miracles. There’s no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be. He knew, he was sure of it now.”

I have always sat there and waited for happiness to come to me. But I realised that I live in no fairytale, and happy things will not be delivered to me on a gold plate. I need to stop being so restrained and 被动. See, the thing is, there is “fate”, but you make your own choices.

Every single person you meet is a coincidence. So, so many things could have happened to prevent you from meeting each other.

When Summer said that at the end, I absolutely agreed with her. What if she had been late for 10 minutes? What would have happened then?

Like I said, everything we do is linked to the thing that happened before it, and the thing we do afterwards is determined by what happens now. This reminds me of the play An Inspector Calls, by J.B. Priestley. “We don’t live alone. We are members of one body.”

There is so much uncertainty.

Frankly, I don’t even know what to think anymore.